Thursday, August 4, 2016

The Story of a Hol(e)y Suitcase

Do you ever have those moments where you think, “Is this seriously my life?” Yes? No? Crickets? Well, if you have, then join the club that this girl is a platinum member of. This past summer, I’ve realized that I’ve used this phrase a lot more than the average joe. I think this phrase is seen and heard most often in major moments of gratitude, embarrassment (like when you hit your face on ice and think… seriously?), or moments of spontaneous awe (like being on a mountain top and thinking “no way…”). I've thought it quite often in the past 5 months, and as I look back to reflect on how to describe it all, there’s really only one tangible object that I think depicts and does my life justice at this point, and that object is: my suitcase.
My summer in one image (and yes... it still can't totally shut).
We all have them – some are duffels, some have rollers, but mine is one that has more than just a few holes in it by now…symbolizing the great amount of wear and tear it’s been through. It’s filled with the remains of scorpions from being on mission in Ecuador, with snow boots from an amazing leadership training in the mountains of Colorado, with sand and cicadas from FOCUS Staff training in Florida, with encouraging notes from mission partners I can never say thank you enough to, with business attire because #adulting is a real thing, with sour patch kids because it’s the only candy that doesn’t seem to melt in hot environments, and with memories that can never be replaced even if I tried.

This summer, there’s been a couple things I’ve realized through the adventures I’ve had with my little buddy suitcase. Here’s the thing… living out of a suitcase REQUIRES (not suggests…. Those airport people are intense!) you to only bring what is necessary. It limits your space and helps you narrow in on the most important things. The suitcase tells you, “Stop. Get rid of the junk that doesn’t have room in here.” It’s a lifestyle of simplicity – one of trust that even if you forget something or don’t have room, you will in fact survive with what you bring. I’ve learned that it’s one of the more freeing decisions I’ve made to only bring the things I need. Also a healthy reminder that less is not only more, but it’s also lighter (hmm… wonder if we developed our perspective to be like this… maybe I would have fewer burdens if I just let a few things go). You see, control is a SERIOUS issue I have… I like to know what will happen in any given situation and I want to be able to impact it in one way or another to ensure that it’s going to be okay. Mother Mary kindly reminded me what it’s like to have the exact opposite of that issue of control. She repeated to me on the weekly in the past 3+ months: “Do whatever He tells you.” I realized that Mary probably only lived out of a suitcase in her life (metaphorically of course… they were way too creative back then for common transportation methods). I asked her how the HECK she was so good at just relinquishing control on the daily… her answer was pretty simple. She had so much trust that she was fully confident in hiding in Jesus’ humility. Yet another way to be more free that I’m denying so often. In addition to teaching me how to live simply and fully dependent NOT on myself this summer, the suitcase also goes wherever it’s asked. Wanna go to Florida? Ok. Need to go to Texas through a very long, hot car ride? It’s down to do it. The suitcase is totally flexible and willing to go wherever it’s asked. HOW HARD IS THIS, RIGHT?! You’re totally gaining more respect for suitcases aren’t you? #goalattained. But really… we humans struggle with this, especially myself. It’s like ‘Ok, I’ll go where I should probably go, but not in these specific areas of my life.’ I want to have the mentality more like my suitcase: one of not just obedience, but also of awareness that while the ride might be uncomfortable, bumpy, and unknown, that saying YES might lead to a pretty rockin’ destination.

So as I turn the page into a new year, I’ll probably have to buy another suitcase (MAJOR bummer…it’s like having to throw away your childhood blanket… we all know that feeling is the worst) because mine is shredded at this point; but, hopefully I get to fill it with more memories, joys, laughter, travel experiences, hilarious conversations, and moments of presence like I’ve had this summer. Cause honestly, who likes an empty suitcase anyway? Time to embrace the inner-nomad in ya. J